Stay at Home vs. Working Moms

The other day a friend of mine posted on Facebook that another woman had tried to undermine her for being a stay-at-home mom.  We all have insecurities about our mothering ability and I guess we always will, if you do not then kudos to you.  This particular woman was trying to make my friend feel less of a person because she put her career on hold to be at home with her kids, or as some of those mightier than thou gals like to put it, be "just a mom."   I feel like I can speak to this issue because I have been on both sides of this fence.  Just so you know, neither side is easy.  I went back to work right after Sprat was born,  and I worked until Big T came along.  The hubbs and I decided together that I would stay at home with the boys.  I do not regret that decision one bit, I have loved every minute being "just a mom" to my boys.   When my very sweet hubby was laid off last year we made a decision together, that I would look for a part-time job to help out and save for the kids college fund.  Now I am a working mom once more.
Since I have been on both sides of this fence I know the pain that continues to plague all mothers.   When I went back to work after having Sprat, I felt a huge guilt.  I felt like I was letting someone else raise my sweet boy.  Since I ran my own business I was not in a position to stay home with my sweet  Sprat.  I am sure there are many moms that are in similar situations and do not have the option to stay at home with their kids.  I always felt like people were judging me for not staying at home with my baby.  These were things in my own head though, I cannot remember anyone saying anything like that to me.  After I found out I was pregnant with my Big T the hubbs and I talked it over and decided that my business was where I could close it down and stay at home with my boys.  This was our decision, not everyone can do that or even wants to do that and that is ok.
I remember taking the boys to the grocery store and running errands and things, they went every where with me.  I also remember the looks I would get sometimes from other women that were working, either working moms or just working women.   Once the boys were in school and playing sports I remember talking with the other moms and they would be discussing their jobs and I would sheepishly say that I stayed at home with my boys.  I am sure some of my feelings were from my own insecurities about being a mom but some were from the other moms.  Sometimes I felt as if I needed to print up my resume so that when the subject of what do you do came up I could just hand it to them.  Sometimes I felt like they would look at me as if, all I could do was be  a mom when I should have been very proud to be the mother of these two great kids.
As for my friend who had someone trying to belittle what she did as a mom, this woman does not have a problem with you she has a problem with herself.  She is insecure in the path that she has chosen and thinks if she puts you down it will raise her up.    Do not let anyone make you feel less of a mom no mater the path you have chosen.   It is not easy on either side and I know from experience, we must make our own decisions and not let anyone or even society tell us what is best.
Stay strong ladies and remember, I am just a mom and this is just my opinion.  

Confession Time. . . .

Ok, so I am going to confess a few things today.  I have been excited about the possibility of going back to work but I have also been terrified.  This is a completely terrifying adventure, I have been out of the workforce raising my children for the past thirteen years.   Many things have changed since I worked and I am feeling a little overwhelmed.
I have always questioned if I have made the right decisions raising my children and I guess all parents have similar questions.  Should I stay home and raise my kids?  Can we afford for me to stay home with the kids?  These are all the questions my hubby and I asked before I decided to stay home. I do not regret my decision to stay home with my kids, I feel very blessed that I was able to stay home with the boys.  I went back to work too early after Sprat was born but he went to work with me.  He stayed with me for the first eight months of his life and then he went to an in home daycare.   There are little things I regret about sending Sprat to daycare, I regret that he had to go at only eight months old and that I missed out on some of his milestones.   Both the boys went to preschool and that I do not regret, it got them used to being around other kids and learning how to follow the rules.  I also believe my kids benefited from being around other adults and learning how to get along with different people.
With all of that out I will share my biggest fear.  What if I cannot cut it with this new job?  I am a little depressed because I am not at home as much with the boys.  I want to be a good example for the boys.  I want them to know that it is ok if when they get married their wife wants to stay home after they have kids or if she wants to go back to work after having kids.   It is a personal choice for each family and no two families are alike.  There is no one answer to fit everyone.
Stay tuned as we make this transition.