Blessings Come from Weird Places. . .

My kids are closed mouthed of late about stuff going on in their lives but, every now and then they open up and let me know what is going on.  I love those little moments, Big T went through a very moody teenager phase a year or so ago but, lately he is sharing more about what is going on.  It took Sprat going off to college before he opened up and actually wanted to talk to his mom.  Sprat text me and his dad these days to update us on what is going on at school and gives a call on the weekends if things are not too busy. It does this mom good to hear all the things he is getting to do at school.
My work schedule has been a little crazy and I feel like I have not been the best mom.  Last night Big T had a panic attack while the hubbs and I were on our way home.  He called when we were on the way home and said he could not breath and that his heart was racing.  Now he is a little over dramatic sometimes but, I could hear the fear in his voice.  You do not know stress until you have been in a car with your husband driving soooo slow while you are trying to reach your child that thinks they are suffocating.  We finally got home to find Big T sitting on the porch almost hyperventilating.   We did some deep breathing to slow everything down and when he seemed more calm, Big T and I went to the store.  He has been congested so I thought we could pick up so OJ and a few other things I needed.  We had a wonderful talk, I always learn new things when we talk.  He has grown so much since his freshman year of high school and his interests have changed.  It is funny how things work out and how something as stressful as your child having a panic attack turning out to be a blessing in disguise. 

Rough Week. . .Random Thoughts. . .

I am a child of God, I struggle daily with the devil and his minions.  This week has been particularly difficult, my children are being tested/tempted by the devil and I am very worried for them.  We know that the devil is everywhere and that he is good at what he does, which is to tempt and tease us into doing things that we would not normally even think about doing.  His prime time to try and take hold in our lives is in our youth and this is what I am talking about with regard to my children.
I will not go into detail but I ask for prayers for both of my boys especially Sprat in Boston.  I ask for prayers for safety, peace, guidance, comfort, and healing.
When your kids are young you can protect them from most all things designed to do them harm, as they get older your ability protect gets less and less effective. It is not a fault of yours it is just the design of life, your kids get older and must make their own decisions.  All you can do and the most difficult job of my parenting adventure thus far is to let go and just keep praying.  I never realized how much of a control freak I was unit this year when Sprat went to Boston to college.  This week has tested my patience and my religion.  Sprat's concussion is getting some better and that is good and I am relieved and very thankful.  There are other things going on that I really cannot write about other than he is having a difficult time and so is mama.  Some days I miss those early mornings when the boys would come in the bedroom and crawl in bed with me and cuddle.  I even miss those wee morning hours when they would have bad dreams and I would crawl in their bed and hold them till they went back to sleep. 
This week has left me feeling very out of sorts, and we have a couple people out at work with various sickness and surgery so the extra work will come in handy for both my pocketbook and my sanity. 
I ask for prayers for both boys especially Sprat as we make our way to Thanksgiving and I get to see my boy for the first time since September. 

Wife on Monday. . .

Warning this is going to be sappy.

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate 23 years together, 22 years of marriage and we may love each other more now than when we were first married.    I have posted about his accident and I have joked about it.  It was a serious injury and I guess I was joking about it because it was my way of dealing with this fear that I had.  The injury itself was crazy and I do not think it would happen again if he fell ten times the same way.  He tore all of the muscle and tendons from the knee.  He had to have surgery to put all of that back together.  He also dislocated his finger on the opposite hand.
These 23 years we have been together the most serious thing we have had to deal with was two c-sections.  Yes, they were serious and I was terrified but he was there and he was my rock.  He held me together.  I think this was hard because he was the one in need and I am not used to that.  I am not used to him being dependent on me, it is usually the other way around.   It is scary seeing the person that you saw as your rock needing you and depending on you to be the rock.  I am far from a rock when it comes to things like this.  If you know me personally you know exactly what I am talking about.
It is hard to see the person you love suffer in pain and not be able to help.   I know I am not the first to face this situation and if you have, I sympathize with you. Now that he is home and that dependence is in your face, it is hard.  I had to take him to see the doctor about his hand on Friday and it was very tricky trying to get him in the truck.  His dear sweet brother had helped get him to the doctor up to now.  I do not know what I would have done with out him.  Bless him because he has been here to sit with hubby while I had class and had to take the kids for practice.   Hubbs cannot stand up by himself and once he is up he is using crutches.  He is determined to get back to normal.  I love his determination but it does scare me just a little.  I am afraid he is going to try and do too much too quick and set things back farther.  This is a long road to recovery for him but I know we will survive.  I know that the good Lord is watching over us and that He will get us through it.   I have been at my end a couple of times these last two weeks and I have felt the prayers and love of our family and friends and for that I am truly thankful.