Saturday, January 14, 2012

Stay at home VS. Working Moms. . .

Ok, right before I was rushing out the door to get in that car rider line the other day Anderson Cooper came on with his talk show.  He had stay at home Moms VS. working Moms.  One of the working Moms said, "Stay at home Moms are lazy."  So needless to say, I was a little late for the line up.  Those of you that may not know I am a stay at home Mom and have many friends that work and many that stay at home.  I have been on both sides of this argument myself.  I do believe it is quite an assumption for this person to jump, that stay at home moms are lazy.  I admit I have my days when I could be lazy as I am sure we all do. 
I have been on both sides of this argument as I said before.  When I had Jack I owned my own business and Jack stayed with me for the first 7 months in my office.  That was very nice and I am glad I did not have to take him to daycare for those first months.  I am also glad I was able to go back to work.   At 7 months Jack got very mobile and had to go to daycare.  I was sad but he went to a nice place where he was the only baby and got all the love and attention he could stand.  Naturally I felt a little guilty and felt that everyone was judging me to be a money hungry, career oriented, neglectful mother.  These are my feelings and my projections about me.  No one ever said these things to me,  these were things I had floating around in my head.  Once I had Thomas three years later it was too costly for two in daycare so I closed my business and stayed home.  I loved what I did but I believe the choice I made was the best for me.  I am truly thankful, that money wise, it works for our family.  Now I have the other things floating around in my head:  What, you don't work?  Are you stupid? Can you not hold down a job?  Are you lazy?   Once again these are my thoughts no one has ever said these things to me.  Some days I wish I had my resume typed on a card so that when people ask; What do you do? I could just whip it out.  Some days I want to rattle off my resume so that people know I do have a brain and I can do other things besides take my kids to school and do laundry.
I do not judge mothers.  I don't care if you stay home or if you work.  I just hope what ever you are doing it makes you happy.  I think we, as women, put more pressure on our selves than anyone else would ever do.  Just like the thoughts I have floating around in my head  about me.  I am pretty sure no one would ever think those things about me much less say them to my face. 

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