Weighing In. . .

I am fed up today with this liberal nonsense.  Everyone has an agenda, EVERYONE!!!  I really wish for once that "people" would actually take on a cause for the sake of the cause and not to push an agenda.  Our schools do have a real problem but it is not one that can be solved over night and it will not be solved by making more laws.
Let us look at what is a law these days, last time I checked it was illegal to take another persons life and yet this happens multiple times every day every where.  It is also illegal to drink alcohol and drive a car, yet  we hear more and more death by motor vehicle due to a drunk driver.  Drugs are also illegal and yet people are dying everyday due to overdose from illegal narcotics.  It is illegal for someone under the age of 16 to operate a motor vehicle and yet you hear about kids dying in car wrecks at the hand of a 15 and under driver.  It is illegal to drive in excessive speeds and yet there are multiple people doing it and wrecks caused by it and people dying because of it.  Oh, and let us not forget the  that schools are gun free zones!!!!  Laws are only as good as the people that follow them.
I believe our problem is not a gun problem but it is a heart problem and a respect problem.  The youth of today have 0 respect for their elders and no I am not 100 years old or even 80 years old.  I was raised to respect my elders (anyone that is older than yourself) regardless of who they are and I was most certainly brought up to respect the law and law enforcement officers.  I have also tried to raise my children to have this same respect.  Some days I feel like I have dropped the ball somewhere and then other days,  fewer days I see I have done a good job.  I get to see that my boys are truly growing into fine young men.
I have talked numerous times about everything that has been going on in the media with my boys, I use these as teaching moments and if all parents would use these as teaching moments what a much better place our world would be.  Let us no teach them if they do not get their way to stomp their feet and demand it be their way or else.  Let us teach our kids to put on their big boy or girl pants and suck it up and move on.  There are going to days even years that will not go your way, you must  rise above it all and do something about it, make a change but do not stomp your feet and protest/pitch a temper tantrum and demand to have "your way."!!
I talked with Big T about the "walk out" after school the other day and he said he did not do it.  He said that he and two of his friends sat in class alone with the teacher and did their work and talked about what was going on.  They talked about how there are better ways to make a change in this world.  He did not try and stop anyone from protesting but he did not see the point in it all.  This was his choice and I think it was a pretty good one.  Sprat does not go to the high school until later in the day so he was not on campus when all of this took place.  He would not have participated in this either.
Our schools say they have a 0 tolerance for bullies and I am sorry but this is laughable.  When Sprat was in middle school he was bullied and so was Big T and nothing was done to any of the kids that were taking part in this.  In fact Sprat was the one that was punished not the bully in his case.  In high school both of my kids have been bullied by teachers, coaches, and other so called adults that work at the high school.   Big T was at the high school waiting for Lacrosse practice just this week and had some woman demand he give her his lap top (school issued from his school not the school he plays Lacrosse for) and she argued with him for a good 10 minutes before she left him alone.  If our schools would take as much time and actually doing what they say they are going to do and follow through our schools would be much better off and so would our kids.  One of my friends daughters was bullied every day on the bus in middle school.  This little girl hit her and stole her lunch and any money she had, every day.  The schools answer was for the child being bullied was to have their parent bring her to school rather than ride the bus.  Nothing was done to the bully!!! This parent transferred her daughter to another school district.
Oh and you can see the respect aspect of all of this play out daily on the news with the so called news reporters that are so disrespectful to the President and his family.  I do not care if you like him or not that is irrelevant, he is the President for that fact alone he deserves respect. The position of President deserves respect, no matter who is at the helm.

Coaches and Their Responsibility. . .

Please forgive my rant this morning.   I am so sick and tired of coaches that think it is ok to put a student down in front of other students or to the student themselves.  I really wish people would grow up and act like adults instead of middle school playground bullies.  I posted earlier this year that Sprat was not going to be playing football in his senior year due mostly to the coaches and how they acted to the players.  In my dear son's words "they sucked the fun out of football."  We have always told our kids when a sport becomes more of a job than a sport and they are no longer having fun participating, it is time to move on.  Sprat made this decision on his own and has moved on to Lacrosse.  He is absolutely loving lacrosse and loves his coaches.  He comes home every night with a smile on his face and bruised from head to toe, but he is loving this sport.  I am so thankful for the men and the other students that are helping to coach this team, they are wonderful!!  
Now as for football I am beyond done and so is Sprat.  The football coach had to open the locker room the other day for the lacrosse team to get in.  This coach saw Sprat and called him by name in front of his peers and asked if he was going to sit the bench in this sport too.  I cannot tell you the restraint that it took as a mom to not go and have a prayer meeting with this two bit you know what. My son being the amazing kid that he is replied in true fashion of our family,  "that is a real knee slapper coach."  I cannot tell you how proud of my son I am because he repeatedly deals with this two bit you know what and he repeatedly proves that he is the better person and more of an adult than this two bit you know what will ever be in his wildest dreams.    Yesterday one of Sprat's teammates told him what another football coach said to him about my son.  Why is this coach talking to another student about my kid when he is not even involved in lacrosse or involved in any fashion with my son.  Can we please grow up and quit acting like children and start setting a better example for our kids.  Why would a "teacher," and I use that term very loosely, talk to anther student like that?
Now I am going to rave over the coaches that are working with this lacrosse team.  They are wonderful and they are setting a great example on how to be a man.  Again, I cannot say enough how thankful I am for these men and Lacrosse.  This sport has come at a time when my child needed someone and something to shoot for.  He said the other night that how much he is loving this sport and he even said how much he likes his coaches and how supportive they have been of him.  He has never played this sport before and with their encouragement and support and help he is doing really well.  He has also taken on the very difficult position of goalie and usually nobody wants to play goalie because you get his with balls coming at you at 90+ miles an hour.   My poor baby has the bruises to prove it, but he is very proud of everyone of his bruises.
If you are reading this and you are a coach please take what I have said to heart.  No matter what you think of a player do not, I repeat, do not talk about them to another player or anyone else for that matter unless you are raving about how good they are.  It will get back to them and their parents and their mom may not have as much restraint as I.  

Thank You. . .

Thank you, two words that are not used nearly enough in our society today.  Today I would like to thank the teachers that have had my kids.  I am thanking all of them, good and bad.  The good ones, and there have been more of those than bad, because they encouraged my kids to shoot for the stars.  They encouraged my kids at times when they were struggling and really needed a positive word from someone other than their mom and dad.  Mom and dad can only do so much in the encouraging department but when that encouragement comes from an outside source it really reinforces what mom and dad have said all along.  I also want to thank my teachers especially my favorite science teachers; Mrs Waters and Mrs. Proctor.  I know I would have never majored in biology if it were not for Mrs. Proctor.   She encouraged me and gave me confidence in my knowledge and abilities.
Ok, enough about me, both of the boys are struggling right now in different areas of their education.  I know that these struggles are shaping them but it is very hard to watch, knowing you cannot help with certain situations.
I am thankful for those bad teachers because they did teach my kids a valuable life lesson about how some people will try to keep you down and that they will face road blocks in life.  I am thankful but also disappointed in these adults that think that demeaning a child in front of their peers motivates them.   It makes me angry to find out that an "adult" (I use this term loosely) believes that they are motivating someone by putting them down and being ugly to them in front of their peers.  This is not motivation even though it has taught my son a valuable lesson.  It is teaching him what not to do as a teacher and what not to do if you want to motivate young people.  It is also teaching him that no matter how much you try to please someone, some people will never be happy with you because they are not happy with themselves.  In order to lead young people you must encourage them not bully and demean them.  In order to lead you must lift others up in front of you not push them down and behind you.
It is hard to be thankful for the bad things but those bad things make you appreciate when you find the good ones.  I am thankful for good and bad today.  I am praying for all of those facing these issues both adult and child.   Love, hugs, and prayers to you all this week.

Feeling a little under appreciated. . . .

Have you ever just thought you could not win no matter what you did?  Have you ever just felt like giving up completely?  Who would notice if you didn't do all the little things that you do?   This has been a terrible week and I am in need of a good vent, just to get some things off of my chest.  Why is it we try so hard to do and please so many people that really do not care about you or anything that you do?  All they care about is if they get what they need out of us.  We really should just  care what our family thinks of us and how our family appreciates us.  I think it is in grained in us at an early age to care what others think of us.   I see this as a fault not an attribute in human nature. 
People will bleed you dry if you let them.  They will take and take and never give back.  Those are the people you should stay away from.  They are everywhere and sometimes they are not individuals they are entities like our school system.  They want you to give and give and give and what do you get back?  Kids that are being bullied and your school systems' answer to the problem is don't ride the bus, or if your kids lunch is being taken everyday by the same kid and the school tells you why don't you let your child buy their lunch.  Ha!!!  Why can't the school stop the bully??????  They know who it is, what is the hold up?   Here is another gem from our school system.  One kid trying to keep the bully form falling on top of him and crushing him and they both get sent to in school suspension.  Where is the justice in that?  I will tell you there is no justice.   I will be so glad when my kids are out of the public school system.  I cannot afford private school for two and I could not handle home school but I may have to buck up and do it.  Several of my friends have taken their kids out of our school system and are either home schooling them or sending them to private school.  You would think this would send a signal to the school system.  They are completely clueless!!!!!

Am I too strict or is everyone else too lenient???

I know I am pretty strict when it comes to my kids and their behavior but, lately I feel like I have to be.  During the school year my kids come home and get straight to their school work after a good snack though.  They don't go to the TV, video games, or phone until all of their work is done.  That has always been a hard rule in our house.  From the time Sprat started 1st grade there has been these kids in the neighborhood that insist on ringing the door bell to get him to go play as soon as they get home from school.    I told Sprat to tell them he could not play until his school work was done and he had finished his reading.  Everyday the same thing so finally I just set a time limit, that the boys could not come out and play until 4pm. that way these boys would know.  That did not do any good, they still were ringing the door bell as soon as they got off the bus.  Sprat was a straight A student and I was going to keep it this way.   One day Sprat had been grounded and could not go out and play and one of the boys came over and I told Sprat he could go out and tell the boy he could not play.  They went out on the porch and I was taking the trash out.  I was in the driveway and could hear their conversation when, the little boy (3rd grader) told Sprat, "when you are 18 you can tell your parents that you aren't going to take any more of their sh$#."  I just about stroked out right there.  I resisted the urge to go and snatch my child up.  I listened patiently, this is when you find out if you have done any thing right raising your kids.  The moment of truth.. .   Sprat responded by saying, "no, no, no,  I would never talk to my parents that way."  That is all I had to hear and I knew in my heart I had done something right.  I went to the porch and I said, " you are right you would not speak to us that way."   I told the little boy he needed to go home right then.  A few other things happened that year, my driveway was egged and  Sprat was mooned by this little boy while the other neighbor boys watched and laughed.  That was the year I told that little boy he was not allowed at our house again.
I am now the scourge of the neighborhood because not one of the other neighbor boys parents or that boys parents asked why he was not allowed at my house.  Isn't that funny?  If my son had been told that he could not play at someones' house I would call to find out what he had done.  Not one person has asked me what happened.  I am sure there are many rumors going around as to why but nobody has asked me.
Of course Sprat is now a rising 8th grader and we still live around these people and they are still just as ugly and nasty as ever.  The little boy that egged my drive way and mooned my child now is being left by himself at all hours of the night.  I know what my kids are capable of  and I know that I cannot leave them alone for more than thirty minutes at the most and certainly not in the middle of the night.  I realize people work and their kids have to be left alone but, being left alone during the day is a whole other thing.   I am very fortunate that my dear hubby has a good job and I am able to be here for my kids but, we do not live like this without sacrifice.  We don't do lavish vacations and we are on a tight budget.  We have not been on vacation in two years but, we are going this year.  My Dave Ramsey plan has kicked in and we have been saving to pay for this trip since last year.   This trip will not follow us home.  That is for a later post.
I would love to hear your opinions on this subject.  I know my friend Beth will post and I thank you Beth for keeping my comments alive.  Even if you have a different opinion than my own I am open to hear what you have to say.  Am I too strict?

People? ? ? Bullies? ? ?

Why is it that some people feel they can intimidate others into doing what they want them to do?  Have never dealt with an "adult" bully up until this weekend and I had first hand experience with it.   Not a pleasant experience either.   We tell our kids how to handle bullies in school but, I am here to tell you that until you have experienced it you don't really know how to deal with it.  I was dumbfounded by what happened to me and I did not know how to react.  I can tell you this, I felt violated.  I do not like people in my personal space to begin with and certainly not  a man that I do not know.  My GYN does not get that close to me when he is doing an internal exam.  It was all a power trip for this guy and all on the rouse that he was "trying" to apologize for being so rude to begin with.  Most people when they are apologizing take a more humble approach, they don't stand over top of you and pin you in where you cannot move.   His words may have been an apology but his demeanor was a big BULLY!   I think he picked on me because I was the only woman there without her husband, I do not think any of this would have happened had my dear hubby been there.  No self respecting man would be behave in this manner.  And yes this is the same cloven hoofed beast I have mentioned in previous posts.