Boys, Cell Phones, Destruction. . .

These days every child starting in elementary school has a cell phone.  I have never been a fan of  children having cell phones. Not only do they have cell phones but they have the newest iphone or whatever.   I think it is silly to start with and I do not think it is good for their eye development.  My oldest did not get a phone until he was a Sophomore in high school.  I am reminded of this fact quite frequently by him.  The only reason he got one then was because he was going to be driving and should something happen I wanted him to be able to get in touch with me.  Big T got a phone when he was in seventh grade but, only because I had started working and I could get called in and would have to communicate to him how he would be getting home. I am reminded of this one too, by Sprat.

I share all of that to say this:  Sprat has gone through 4 phones since his Sophomore year of high school.  I am sick of buying phones.  This last one he complained about not working and he wanted a new one and I put my foot down!!  He worked this Summer and I told him if he wanted a new phone he would pay for it him self.  So he did.  I also made him change phone providers because his bill was more than mine and Big T's put together.  He bought his new phone and I am paying for his service and I made him go with my service that is much less than what I was paying. 

With that my phone bills are going to go down dramatically.  Wheww!!!!

If anyone is reading this that is techie, I will give you something that desperately needs to be developed.  Someone needs to develop a teenage boy proof cell phone.  This phone should be indestructible, now there are phones out there that claim to be sturdy and durable but I am seriously talking about indestructible.   

Bless Big T he has had the same phone since seventh grade and has never had problem one with his.  Sprat is like that gorilla you used to see on the Samsonite commercials banging the luggage around showing how durable it is.  The only difference is that with Sprat he destroys all the phones. 

Teenager proof phone, the most needed tech item ever.  

A Little Trip Home for the Boy. . . .

Sprat and I went for a visit to mom and dad's before he heads back to school next week.  It is always so good to go home for a visit, I like to show my kids where I grew up, where I used to work and the schools I attended.  Mom and dad have a favorite little place they like to eat in town  that is right across the street from where I worked when I was in high school.  

Things have changed so much in my little home town.  They have so many cute little shops and quaint little spots to eat now.  I am so glad that things are thriving in my little home town and I know I can always go home to visit.  

Sprat drove us in my old car, the one that he will be taking back to school, he needed some highway practice before we hit the road to Boston.  He drove well, he does have a little issue with speed, especially in my old car.  It has a little more get up and go than his first car he drove.  We had some great conversations and I feel like I got a little closer to my boy on this trip.  He has grown and changed so much since he was a little fella and we would take this trip to visit mom and dad.  I do believe that car rides are the best way to connect to your child no matter what their age.  We had such a good time, visiting with mom, dad, and my brother.  We missed seeing my sister but we did get to have a quick visit with my niece at the drug store.  

Mom gave Sprat several old t-shirts (Sprat calls them retro, I just call them old) and we celebrated his birthday while we were there.  Sprat also came home with an old straw cowboy hat that he loved and begged mom to have.  

I highly recommend a road trip with your teen before they go off to college, it is an eye opener.  

Stay tuned for pictures of the new school and new dorm and weepy mama. . . .   

Where Do I Begin???. . . .

Just when you think you have it all together, your kids grow up and prove you know absolutely nothing.  Parenting teenage almost adult boys is not for the faint of heart.  When you think you know them, they show you that you do not know them at all.  Those sweet little angels that you loved and snuggled and loved watching sleep and loved how they smelled.  Ahhh the memories and tears I shed over those little boys and they have no clue how much a mother loves a child.
We spend 16 + years encouraging our kids to grow and be independent, giving them everything they need to do that and then when they go and do it you are no where near prepared.  I was told by my almost 20 year old child, that he was an adult and could do things on his own.  He thinks that because he came and went as he pleased while at college that he can do that in MY house.  Ha Ha Ha Ha !!! This is very hard for your children to understand, they want to flex their adult muscles and they want to be that independent adult so bad.  What these new adults do not realize is all of the responsibility that comes with being an adult.  They still want to sleep in till 1100 and have their food prepared for them.  They want to have their laundry done and car and gas provided to them at no charge of course.
We are always proud that our kids have grown up and excited when they start a new chapter in their lives but when it comes to that chapter where they are suppose to be on their own it is difficult to deal with especially when they still live at home.  They do not show that in those gushy commercials on TV about having children.  They do not show the angry teenager storm out of the house and say, "you don't trust me and you don't want me to grow up."   I bet if they did it would make parents think twice about teaching all this independence.  Nahh, I am just kidding, it would  not have changed anything for me.  I do love that my kids are independent, and that is what we want but they really should teach us parents how to cope with all this independence.  Boys are very different from girls too, I think girls will always need their moms but boys on the other hand they do not want to be seen as "needing" anyone.  ughh the trials of motherhood.
It has taken me a week to write this, every time I read it, I think it sound whiny and needy.  I just want to convey the pains of motherhood in raising teenage and soon to be adult boys. 

Such sweet little angels 

Big T doing what he loves most.  I love this picture, his grin. 

Sprat also doing what he loves most.  

Weekend Update. . . .

So, I shared earlier about having to get all my doctor appointments scheduled.  I still have to schedule my mammogram and my eye appointment and I have my appointment for my migraines.  It is rough trying to keep yourself healthy, I have realized these last few weeks that I seriously neglected my self over the years.  I am chalking this up to my resolution of self care this year. 
Young Moms, please do not neglect your own health for the sake of your family.  I wish I had been better to me while the boys were young but, when you are trying to hold down a household and take care of two boys you tend to neglect you.  Make you a priority.
I completed my Cologuard test, it was not as bad as I thought  it would be, I am waiting to hear back about my results.  This tests your poop for cancer DNA.  If it comes back positive it does not mean you have cancer it means you could have cancer and should have the colonoscopy to make sure there are no polyps.  If it comes back negative this will be the best thing ever because I will not have to have that nasty colonoscopy.  I will be honest I have heard horror stories about these and I want to stay as far away from them as I can.  I am a terrible patient, I hate doctors and I may have used the family as an excuse not to go to the doctor.  I am a terrible patient. 
We can chalk up a win for the Lax bros last night, our first win of the season.   Sprat got accepted to his new school, got his scholarship and will be playing lacrosse for this new school.  We are very excited for him and cannot wait to see what his sophomore year will hold. The hubbs has dirt and is going to work on my herb bed again today.  Big T is getting ready for his Prom tonight so stay tuned for photo overload. 

Missing my Kiddo. . .

I thought I had this being a mom of a college student all in hand, boy was I wrong.   I do not have anything together.  I have been blaming work for not sleeping well since I have been working more nights and the truth is it is plain old worry.  I guess being a mom the worry never stops, I will worry when they are 40.  Kids do not understand that until they are parents themselves.  LOL!!  I sure did not understand.  My sister was quick to point out the worry I must have caused our mom when I was in college, when I was crying on her shoulder last week.
I know the parenting job is suppose to prepare our kids not to need us but must they not need us so soon.  Mine has gone off, Mr. Independent, tooling around the big city like a pro.  He loves it, and is having the time of his life and the worst part for me is that he does not miss home at all.  I know, I know he is suppose to spread his wings and fly to new adventures, I just did not think he would be this good at it. 
I pray every night that he will be safe while he is out tooling around the city and I pray that he does not lose his focus.  Focus being school and studying hard and preparing for his future.  Lots of prayers for all the moms and dads of college students that have gone off to spread their wings to new adventures.  This parenting thing is so hard and painful. 

Weighing In. . .

I am fed up today with this liberal nonsense.  Everyone has an agenda, EVERYONE!!!  I really wish for once that "people" would actually take on a cause for the sake of the cause and not to push an agenda.  Our schools do have a real problem but it is not one that can be solved over night and it will not be solved by making more laws.
Let us look at what is a law these days, last time I checked it was illegal to take another persons life and yet this happens multiple times every day every where.  It is also illegal to drink alcohol and drive a car, yet  we hear more and more death by motor vehicle due to a drunk driver.  Drugs are also illegal and yet people are dying everyday due to overdose from illegal narcotics.  It is illegal for someone under the age of 16 to operate a motor vehicle and yet you hear about kids dying in car wrecks at the hand of a 15 and under driver.  It is illegal to drive in excessive speeds and yet there are multiple people doing it and wrecks caused by it and people dying because of it.  Oh, and let us not forget the  that schools are gun free zones!!!!  Laws are only as good as the people that follow them.
I believe our problem is not a gun problem but it is a heart problem and a respect problem.  The youth of today have 0 respect for their elders and no I am not 100 years old or even 80 years old.  I was raised to respect my elders (anyone that is older than yourself) regardless of who they are and I was most certainly brought up to respect the law and law enforcement officers.  I have also tried to raise my children to have this same respect.  Some days I feel like I have dropped the ball somewhere and then other days,  fewer days I see I have done a good job.  I get to see that my boys are truly growing into fine young men.
I have talked numerous times about everything that has been going on in the media with my boys, I use these as teaching moments and if all parents would use these as teaching moments what a much better place our world would be.  Let us no teach them if they do not get their way to stomp their feet and demand it be their way or else.  Let us teach our kids to put on their big boy or girl pants and suck it up and move on.  There are going to days even years that will not go your way, you must  rise above it all and do something about it, make a change but do not stomp your feet and protest/pitch a temper tantrum and demand to have "your way."!!
I talked with Big T about the "walk out" after school the other day and he said he did not do it.  He said that he and two of his friends sat in class alone with the teacher and did their work and talked about what was going on.  They talked about how there are better ways to make a change in this world.  He did not try and stop anyone from protesting but he did not see the point in it all.  This was his choice and I think it was a pretty good one.  Sprat does not go to the high school until later in the day so he was not on campus when all of this took place.  He would not have participated in this either.
Our schools say they have a 0 tolerance for bullies and I am sorry but this is laughable.  When Sprat was in middle school he was bullied and so was Big T and nothing was done to any of the kids that were taking part in this.  In fact Sprat was the one that was punished not the bully in his case.  In high school both of my kids have been bullied by teachers, coaches, and other so called adults that work at the high school.   Big T was at the high school waiting for Lacrosse practice just this week and had some woman demand he give her his lap top (school issued from his school not the school he plays Lacrosse for) and she argued with him for a good 10 minutes before she left him alone.  If our schools would take as much time and actually doing what they say they are going to do and follow through our schools would be much better off and so would our kids.  One of my friends daughters was bullied every day on the bus in middle school.  This little girl hit her and stole her lunch and any money she had, every day.  The schools answer was for the child being bullied was to have their parent bring her to school rather than ride the bus.  Nothing was done to the bully!!! This parent transferred her daughter to another school district.
Oh and you can see the respect aspect of all of this play out daily on the news with the so called news reporters that are so disrespectful to the President and his family.  I do not care if you like him or not that is irrelevant, he is the President for that fact alone he deserves respect. The position of President deserves respect, no matter who is at the helm.

The Kids are Watching. . .

My two classes this semester may be the death of me.  Juvenile Delinquency is a really hard subject.  I thought since I am raising two of my own delinquents I should be able to grasp this subject.  I did not realize how much there was to the whole delinquent aspect of juveniles.   I mentioned a little yesterday about how kids imitate what their parents do.  I know I am just like my mother, as much as I do not want to admit it.   I do not mean that my mom was not a great mother, because she was the best a girl could ask for but she babies my dad so much.  She also babies my husband when we are visiting.  My husband loves it, he thinks he has died and gone to heaven because my mom will wait on him hand and foot.   I do wait on my husband sometimes but not all of the time.   My husband and I help each other.  I feel pretty lucky because there are days that I just do not want to fix anything for anybody to eat and he will step in and fix for everyone, even me.   He makes the best pancakes and egg sandwiches.   I do love a man that can cook even little things like pancakes and eggs.   He is the master on the grill, I hate even thinking about having to grill anything.   He can grill anything if it will fit on the grill.  He has done chicken, stuffed peppers, burgers, steak, potatoes, and veggies.  Once the weather warms up and we start working the garden again I will have to share some of his famous grill recipes.
I hope that my boys pick up on how giving and caring their dad is and I hope they will imitate that when they have girlfriends and wives.   Boys learn to how to treat girls by watching their dads and they also learn how they should be treated by watching their moms.

Hard Talks Ahead. . .

Today I found out that one of Sprats' classmates committed suicide last night.  I am very sad for this family and for this young man's friends.  We wonder why things like this happen and there is no rhyme or reason to it.  As a parent my heart is breaking.   I found out from a friend and then Sprat told me when I picked him up from school today.  He was upset that the school had not said anything about it.  They are usually good about offering kids time to talk with a counselor when ever there is a sudden death of a student. 
  The hubbs had a colleague whose son had killed himself several years ago and my hubby and I decided at that time we should talk with the boys about this.  Needless to say, this is an on going conversation.    Sprat knew "the talk" was coming. 
Parents, I cannot say enough that depression is real and is serious.   I encourage you all to have "the talk" with your kids too.   You may be saying to yourself; my kids are fine, we talk all the time, my kids know how I feel about them and so on.  Does that sound familiar?   I said the same thing too, until my husbands colleagues' son.  This young man was a junior in high school, an all star athlete, and a straight A student.  He shot himself, and this family did not own a gun.   We talked at length with our kids about peer pressure and how there was nothing too big and too bad that we could not face it together.   Yes, my kids know I love them but they need to hear it and often.  Kids need to be reassured that they are loved and that you as their parents will be there no matter what.   

I will hug  my kids a little tighter tonight before they go to bed.   Being a parent is hard work, being a kid in a house where they barely see their parents is even harder.   I am frequently called over protective and maybe I am but my kids are my priority above all else.   My time with them is fleeting and it is my job to protect them from things I know to be bad for them.   If that makes me overprotective, then so be it.   Hug those kiddos!!!

Should be a Semi-Normal Week. . .

Sprat is home after being away for two weeks at camps and I hope we can get back to normal.  Normal is subjective at our house.   My house is like a three ring circus and when we come out of the house  it is like a volcanic eruption. 
I hope at some point my boys learn how great it is to have a sibling and how blessed they are to have each other.
Sprat came home with wild tales of mission camp and how much fun they had.  Big T started leadership camp today and, to see him get off the bus with a huge grin is priceless.  He had a lot of fun and has this whole week  of learning ahead of him at our community college.   Sprat is back eyeball deep in football again and I guess until the season is over.  

I get a little nostalgic every year about this time, thinking about school starting back and the kids progressing along.  Every tick of the clock is another step closer to them making their way in this world and being on their own.  We want them to be on their own but it is hard to let go.  We want them to be happy, healthy, and successful in whatever they choose to do.  

Proctoring. . .

So, I am proctoring for the middle school this week for testing.  It is a duty I feel as parents we should do, to help out with the school.   It is very boring, sitting there watching these kids taking this test.  It would probably be more fun watching paint dry.  I feel so sorry for these poor kids having to endure this torture.

As a proctor your job is to watch and make sure nobody cheats or causes a disturbance during the test.  I feel our job is to make sure the kids are staying on track with their answer sheet and questions in the book.  You know you're answering question # 1 then you should be bubbling on the answer sheet answer # 1.  You would be surprised at how many get out of sequence on those things.  My own Sprat got out of sequence on one of his tests when he was in the third grade.  The poor kids are guarding those answer sheets so much you can barely check them.  I always try to make sure they don't skip questions either, on their answer sheets.  I caught two that had skipped a number on their answer sheet this morning.  So glad, I would hate for a child to get a bad grade just because they skipped an answer blank or because they bubbled wrong.

I really wish they would stop this EOG and EOC stuff, there has to be a better way, I don't think the common core is the answer either.  I told you about Sprats' social studies test, all the questions were on finance and government, and they spent maybe a day or two on that in class.

Baseball, baseball, baseball. . .

I do like watching my kids play baseball.  I like watching them play all sports, who am I kidding.  I do get excited and if you know me personally  you know what I mean.  I yell and holler and jump up and down.  I yell for every kid on our team.  That is what I like about our club.  Every parent is yelling for every child.  How cool is that, that each child has twenty people yelling their name and cheering them on.   When you come to our games you can never tell which parent belongs to which child because we are all yelling.
 Every child deserves the right to play whatever sport  they desire regardless of their talent level.  Imagine going to sign your child up to play baseball and the person signing them up said, "has your child ever played baseball before?"  If you answer, no.  That person might say oh, well your child will be on the "B" team.  That is what some idiot that has recently joined our booster club is trying to do.  We barely have enough kids to have a team much less an A or B team.   I do not like this A or B team mess.  Each team should be set up equally, so that each team has it's own chance to win or lose.  We have played other clubs before and you could tell that they had A and B teams.  One team rarely if ever won a game and one of the teams was undefeated.
We have a wide range of talent on our team.  We have kids that have been playing ball since t-ball and kids that have never played before.  All of our kids get equal time on the field and one of our parents has a problem with this.  By the way, we are 5-0, and this guy is not happy because we have a kid that has never played ball before and has not learned the finer points of the game.  This child is learning every game and practice and he is so positive and excited about playing.  He has improved every game.  All of the parents except one yells for him and gives him encouragement every time he gets up to the plate.  All of the kids on the team yell and encourage this child because they want him to do well and not to feel bad about himself.  Why is it that this guy is so pig headed and mean?  Yes, he is my cloven hoofed friend from my previous post.  Our club is set up to teach and encourage not to diminish someone else because they have never had the opportunity to try.