Personal Finance? ? ?

Sprat is taking personal finance this semester in school.  He brought home a list of questions for his dad and I on our experience with money.  I honestly believe I could teach a young adult personal finance class.   I think I have made all the mistakes out there with money.  I am very proud to say I learned from my mistakes and did not make the same one twice.  
One of the questions asked, if I could share one important lesson about money what would it be?   With out a doubt it would be, never sign up for a credit card.  I signed up for my first card as a freshman in college.   I was working partime and had a $2, 500 credit limit with a 29% interest rate.  What was I thinking?  That is the point, I was not thinking.   I was too young to know better and my parents had never warned me of the evils of credit cards.  I do not think they ever imagined a company would give me credit.
I think I have shared this before, when talking about credit cards,  about all of the offers the hubbs and I received in a month.   I had over $352, 000 and my hubby had over $450, 000 in credit card offers.  This would have been in 1998 when the credit card companies sent out these types of offers every day.  We did not have that kind of money nor did we need that kind of credit for anything. 
You can live without credit cards but it takes patience, planning, and delayed gratification.  These are three things the kids of today are not being taught.  They are the now generation.  They want it now and do not care how they get it.  My kids are guilty of this too, so please do not think I am pointing fingers.   This has been an ongoing lesson for both of my boys.  We talk daily about saving for that all important pair of shoes they absolutely must have or the game that they cannot live without.  If it is over and above what they NEED for school then they pay for it themselves.  Both the boys have bought their own shoes with their own money (birthday or commission) if it was something that was a want and not a need.  Yes, I am that mom.

First Speech Next Week. . .

A getting to know you speech, my first assignment.  Not sure I want anyone to know me.  Do we really want people to know us?   Yes, I post a lot of things here but I see this as more of an online journal.  Sometimes I vent, sometimes I want to share something new that I have learned, and sometimes I just write whatever is on my mind.
Back to the speech; I have to talk about an item from my past, present and future.  This is a hard one.  It is 2-3 minutes in length, if you go over or under you get points deducted.  I can get long winded so I am worried about the over 3 minutes issue.  I have had a real time trying to decide what items I will use to represent my past, present and future.  I think my kids represent my present and my husband represents my future but I am not sure about my past.  I think I am more complicated than a 3 minute speech.

Making Wagers. . .

My husband and I  have always made bets with each other on various topics.  Before we had our kids and when we were both working we would make sizable (several hundred $) wagers with each other.  
One day we were out of town and I thought I saw one of my students from my Sunday school class.  I pointed him out and of course the hubbs immediately dismissed  that it was him.  I was pretty sure it was him, so I bet my hubby a new designer pocketbook if I was right and he could get a new rod and reel of equal value to my pocketbook  if he was right. 
We happened to be at a basketball tournament when all of this happened so I had to wait till the game was over to go and see my student.  Long story short, it was my student and the hubbs was not happy. 
I usually won these bets with my hubby and yes they were silly bets but we have so much fun picking  with and teasing each other.   Sometimes we bet on who knows what.  We got into an argument about where the mini Coopers were built and who made them.  You can imagine the salesman's surprise when we pulled into the dealership to get the facts to resolve our bet.  You guessed it, I won and this time I got a mani/pedi. 
I am sharing all of these crazy stories so that I can share the latest between Sprat and I.   He was being hard headed, as teenagers do and refused to take any notebooks or pens or pencils to school on his first day.  I insisted that he would need to write things down and he needed to take a notebook and a pencil.  Naturally, being the loving mom I am, I packed a notebook, pens, and pencils in his bookbag without him knowing.  He was still insistent that he would not be writing anything down on the first day.  I do not know where they get this attitude?  Heeheehee.   He proceeded to bet me he would not be writing anything down.  He has the know it all attitude but he forgets that I DO KNOW IT ALL.  You moms know what I am talking about.  He bet me $100 that he would not write anything down.  Well, you know I could not resist this one.  I took his bet and when he came home from school last night he pulled out all of his papers that would need signing and low and behold he had written several things in his agenda and on his papers.  I did not take my child's money,  this little mishap will be worth way more than $100 later on down the road.  This little gem will stay in my mom arsenal of "do you remember when?" 
Here is to all the moms and dads fighting the good fight day and night, hang in there and know that your kids will thank you later on down the road.  It took me twenty-two years to learn and realize my parents were always right.   Love and hugs to you all.

First Day of School

Yippeee!!!!  First day of school.  I am so excited!  The hubbs and I have a tradition, that on the first day of school he takes the day off.  This way there are no distractions and we double team the kids to get them ready on time and out the door.   After the kids are gone we go out for a nice quiet breakfast, just the two of us.   There are always errands to run too, and we tackle those together.  Today we made trips to Goodwill and Sunnyside Ministries.  We also dropped by the shooting range for a little target practice.  Nothing like a little couples therapy at the range. 
The hubby and I have been doing this for several years now and we look forward to it every year.  I have been trying to take the kids pictures each year too on their first day.  Sprat hates having his picture taken so this took some effort.  I told him that some day he will have kids and they are going to ask; dad, why are you not in any of these pictures?   Or, they might ask; dad why are your eyes closed to tightly?  Here is our picture today.  Sophomore and 7 th grader, my goofy boys.

Public Speaking

Public speaking may be the death of me.   That is my on campus class this semester.  Yes, I get to give several speaches on varying subjects.  There is one other lady that may be my age, the rest are first year students and you can see their fear.  I did not take a public speaking  course when I was in college the first go around.  I think they should require a course like this in high school.  I know my Sprat would definitely benefit from it as well as most high schoolers these days.  
The one thing I have noticed about high schoolers,  is that they do not make eye contact when talking to adults.  If you have ever conducted an interview or have been interviewed you know the importance of eye contact.   I hope to pass along some of what we discuss in this class to my boys to help them along their way. 
My semester has already begun and the boys will start next week.  We are getting ready to hit full speed at our house.   My posting may be somewhat sporadic these next few weeks till we get into a routine again so please have patience.  Best of luck to all starting back to school and to the moms and dads behind those little buggers.

Kids and Collections. . .

All kids collect things; some collect baseball cards, certain toys, stuffed animals, barbies, and coins.  Big T collects knives and since the Gun and Knife show was in town this past weekend I thought we might go and see what they had.   This is a small show but there were a ton of people there.  I wanted to get there early so we could get in and get out, nice thought.  We got there a little before it was supposed to start and the line was already in the parking lot waiting to get in.  It did move fairly quickly once they opened the doors.  Big T was amazed at how many people just had guns thrown over their shoulders.   In the news last week was a story of a man shooting himself in the parking lot of a local gun show, by accident.  They were taking precautions, making sure the guns that were brought into the building were not loaded.  Once we got in the building everyone spread out and it did not seem as crowded.  There were lots of interesting items at the show.  There were the hard core preppers there with survival gear and there were a lot of guns and plenty of knives to dazzle Big T.  We went around and looked at everything before he narrowed down what he really wanted.  He found some unique knives and I even found one I liked.
My dad always carried a small pocket knife and so did my brother and sister.  I remember one Christmas they both got knives.  Dad believed everyone should carry a pocket knife, you never know when you might need one.  Big T does not carry one everywhere, he knows he cannot carry one to school.  When Big T gets older he will have quite the collection to share with his kids.  My dad enjoyed showing his collection to Big T and I.  

Commission Vs. Allowance for Kids. . .

Do you pay your kids an allowance or a commission?  Do you know the difference?  Do your kids know the difference?   This is a brief rundown of how I understand these words.  Allowance to me means; money given for just being around.  Commission, on the other hand, is money paid for doing work.  How do you want your kids to understand the money they are given each week?  Do you want them to take pride in their chores and do the work and get paid or do you just want to dole out your money to the couch potatoes that occasionally grunt hello when you come into the room?  I opt for the first one, I wanted my kids to have responsibility and chores in our house.  There are some things that they are required to do just because they are a part of our family and there are other things they get paid for.  Each chore has a dollar amount attached to it and if it is not done they do not get that money.  My hope is, this is teaching them to have a good work ethic.  My boys are 15 and 12 and this is what they are paid to do:  bring laundry down to be washed, put clean laundry away, take out the trash and recycle, stomp soda cans, and keep their rooms semi-neat.  These are the things they do just because they are a part of this family:  yard work with dad, get the mail, help with the dishes, unload groceries and anything else their dad and I can come up with that needs to be done.
I follow the Dave Ramsey plan with the boys too.  They have a give, save and spend envelope that they divide their money into each week.  I hope this is teaching them to spend responsibly and save and give to others in need.
I never had an allowance growing up, I had friends that did and maybe if I had I would have been better with money as a young adult.  My mom and dad gave me money when I needed it for clothes, movies or going out to eat but it was never attached to a specific chore.  I had things that I had to do around the house and at the barn.  I did not have money that I would call my own until I started working when I was a junior in high school.  I did not have a bank account until I started that job either.  My kids had savings accounts as soon as they were born.  I am sure I have mentioned this before but I will tell it again.  I had a big empty plastic water cooler bottle that we would put spare change in when Sprat was little.  I kept this in his room, when grandparents came to visit they had to pay to see the baby.  Ha ha ha ha ha!!!  just kidding.  Anytime they got money as a gift it went in the bottle and that in turn went to their savings accounts.  I only recently told the boys that they even had bank accounts.  The later they find out the better.  I ended up having to tell Sprat because he went to his daddy and told him I had stolen his money.  He told his dad he had X amount of money and now he had a lot less and of course I was the only suspect in this crime.   I did take his money to put in his bank account so it would not end up going to the grocery store for candy and junk.  Thank goodness my hubby was able to explain to him what I had done and I told him we had a savings account for him at our bank.  

Getting Back to School. . .

Is everyone ready for the kiddos to be back in school?  It is bitter sweet at my house.  My kids keep getting older despite my attempts to keep them my little ones.   I am excited for them to get back in their routine so that I can return to my routine.   I do crave my routine.
Big T will be in 7th grade and Sprat will be in 10th.  Ughhhh!!!!  I hate saying that, I do not feel I am old enough to have a 10th grader.  I still wish I was a MOP (mother of preschooler).  Those days were such fun, I wish I had relished in them a little more.  To all of you MOP's, enjoy those little guys for as long as you can because they morph so quickly into aliens/teenagers.   Just when they get interesting and you can actually carry on a conversation with them they think it is torture to be in the same room with you.  We fight this one daily.  I think they have this misconception that they are supposed to be aggravated with their parents, that it is some kind of rule or something.  Every now and then when we are all together enjoying our time as a family I see a glimpse of them having fun.  You must be careful not to draw attention to it though because they will clam up and retreat to that angry teenager mode again.  You must secretly enjoy those little moments.  I am trying to take advantage of every moment I can to be with the boys because soon GIRLS will come into this picture.  I know this is inevitable but I get a pain in my gut every time I think about it.  So far we have dodged the bullet with them both.  I hope they take after their daddy and do not date until college.  I think Big T is the ladies man, he is the one that had the little girls buying him pudding last year at school.   Girls are so forward these days, I know this is off of my topic, so I will save this one for another day.
As for today, I will cherish every little bit of time I have with my kiddos.

Salsa, Salsa, Salsa. . .

My hubby makes the best salsa around.  It even rivals many of the Mexican restaurants that make their own.   He has grown so much in our 23 years together, going from not eating onions to growing and grilling his own.  
I will share his recipe with you but our secret ingredient is lots of love.  We work in the garden together and we make the salsa together.

20 or so average tomatoes
4-5 jalapeno peppers
1-2 onions
2-3 cloves of garlic
Fresh cilantro
2tbsp cumin
2 limes zested and juiced

This is a 2-3 hour process but well worth the time.
Boil your tomatoes until the skin splits then remove from water and let cool.  Boil your peppers till soft, remove and set aside to cool.  Chop onion and saute in a little olive oil till translucent.   Press garlic and saute till slight brown.  Chop a small bunch of cilantro. 
Once your tomatoes are cool you can slide the skin right off.  We leave ours in a drainer over a bowl to catch excess liquid.  Hubby chops the peppers and sets them aside.  I use the blender to blend everything together.  We do not  care for chunky salsa.   I add some tomatoes, peppers,  onion, garlic, cilantro, and some lime juice and blend then pour into a large bowl.  I do this until everything is well blended then hubby adds the cumin and zest.  This makes about 8 cups of salsa.  We keep ours in the fridge and eat on it for a week or so.  Does not usually last very long with the kids around.   I think our salsa is so good because most everything is cooked and blended.  If you try this let me know how yours turns out. 

Time to Tackle Another Week. . .

I have a week of football ahead of me different times and both kids.  How do we keep up with all that our kids want to do and still carve out some time for ourselves and time with our spouses?  We need to make an intentional effort for ourselves as well as our spouses.  Whether you have kids or not this can still apply to you.  Our kids can and will consume our lives and that is not a bad thing.  I love my kids and my husband and I would do anything for them, with in reason.  My husband and I also love each other and know that when our kids are grown and out of our home that he and I are all we have.

You fall in love and marry the love of your life.  You spend lots of time together early in your marriage and then you have kids and your time gets divided or maybe it is a job that steals away that time.  This is not bad it just is what it is.  We all get caught up in our own things and sometimes forget about those closest to us.  When our life gets full we must make time for our spouses and ourselves.  I do not sleep a lot these days so I take advantage of getting up early and having that quiet time for devotions and prayer.  The hubbs and I have a little tradition that on the first day of school he takes the day off and after the kids are at school we go for breakfast and spend the day together.  The hubbs and I carve out days like that through the year as well.
 You must continue to nurture that relationship with your spouse, if you do not it will die.  There is no time like the present to carve out some time for you and your spouse.  If you already do this, great and kudos to you.  I would love to hear back from you to know how you do it.  

Tears and Weakness. . .

I am a very passionate person; whether it is my kids, family, my Christianity, or a job.   I do get weepy at times.  Sometimes it is when I am sad or missing someone close to me, sometimes it is during Church when our minister hits home a point.  Some people see this as a weakness, I assure you it is not.  I deal with and process things differently than most and sometimes that touches a certain part of my soul which comes out in tears.  In the Bible it talks about tears and how precious they are to God and that he makes a record of each one (Psalms 56:8).  Tears were also used to wash Jesus feet.
I saw this on Facebook one day; "tears do not mean you are weak, they mean you have been strong for way too long."   I am not sure I believe that one but, I do know that I am not weak.  There are many days I have felt I could not make it but, then God steps in and he lifts me over all obstacles in my path.
To anyone else that feels weak because you shed tears for others, do not.  You are not weak, it is ok to cry and show your feelings.  Those tears mean you are real and you are not trying to hide who you are.  I used to try to hide mine but I have given up on that.  My kids know how I am and it does not bother them because they know that I am real.